Getting Unstuck
I want to run.
Just get out without a destination or a time limit.
I've been feeling stuck lately. Stuck in my eating habits. Stuck in my routine. Stuck in the monotony of being a stay at home mom. Stuck in fears of failing with new ventures. Stuck in what seems like an endless stream of need-to-be-answered emails and a to do list that never gets done. Just stuck. And it's not fun.
I just want to run away for a few hours and come back to a new day with no evidence of unaccomplished tasks or failures. An organized home. An empty inbox. A clean slate.
Surely, many stay at home (or working) moms can sympathize with what I'm feeling. No matter how supportive or helpful your spouse tries to be, the housework and childcare mostly gets dropped into the mother's pile of things to do, to worry over. We (moms) put ourselves last and this train of thought is not easily undone.
I yearn for the day when I can feel less guilty about putting me first. Even typing it out makes me feel guilty and most of that guilt ties into judgement of others. This mom club that I put myself in can be a judgey bunch. I often can feel the judging eyes of other moms burning through my back as I say something or do something that they don't approve of… shouldn't we be sticking up for each other instead of reveling in other moms struggles?
I sick of being stuck! I'm done with it. Just done.
It's time to break through from this ho-hum cycle and spread positivity in my little corner of the internets (and in real life too).
If you 'stuck' with me this far (see what I did there), thanks for listening to me rant and feel free to speak up if you think I'm sinking back into a negative tone on this little blog. :)
Happy Monday!
awesome post, quinn!! It's so tough sometimes - and even I feel stuck sometimes. Here is NYC in the tiny apartment. I often want to just skip town and start a new life somewhere totally different (and hopefully with amenities...) but then I realize, the same problems will come up again. I can't run away with it. I have to find a way within myself to feel unstuck. but easier said then done. I highly recommend weekend getaways! :) thanks for writing this!
ReplyDeleteI often think about this, particularly the part about other Moms being judgy. Working Moms judging SAHMs and vice versa. It is a tough world, this parenting one, and we should focus on being supportive of one another instead of being judgmental and negative towards one another. Everyone has a role, and they are all important! I feel stuck some days too, and I'm sure it will only get more difficult to find "me" time after baby boy makes his debut. Sounds like you need a girls day and a trip to the spa! :-) Hang in there, let me know if I can help!
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful mother, Quinn. I guess things have not changed too much since I was a young mom. You can't imagine what backlash I got for having an epidural AND not breast feeding! You're right about moms needing to stick together. Luckily, I found a group of women who did just that. They
ReplyDeleteare still my friends today! Someone once told me that if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of your family. If you think about it like that, it takes away some of the guilt. I would give you the same advice that I gave the young parents at our preschool. I was asked, "What is the one message you would like to share with preschool-aged parents?"
Here's my answer......................
There are so many!!! First and foremost – YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!!! Seriously, parents are really hard on themselves! The rest of my advice will probably sound trite, but it’s what I
really believe, so here it is……
*The parenthood journey is long. Preserve your energy.
*Each child has a unique path. Theirs may look very different than yours, go with it.
*Plan for “forks in the road.”
*Children will eventually leave…make sure you are not left living with astranger (i.e. your spouse or partner).
*Enjoy every minute of this precious time. “The days are long, but the years are short.” I’m not sure who said that, but it is so true!
LYMI
First of all, now you know how mom felt and maybe that's why she took up running literally to get away from everything :) Everybody feels 'stuck' once in a while. I have a continual feeling that I need to get things perfect before I move on, maybe it's a curse all the Wade girls have which then makes us give up. So let go of perfection! (This is VERY hard, but try to work on it) Next, splurge on a housecleaner! I found a lady here that does 4 hours for $45 (of course I tip her) but I have been using her not every week but once every couple of months and it is AMAZING! I'm addicted. It feels so great not to have to scrub my floors! You must take care of yourself. Make it a point to have one night a week for you and only you, John takes the girls and you get to go do whatever you want.....run, shop, go to a movie, hang out with friends, go to a game, read in the bath, volunteer, whatever! Find some awesome girlfriends! I learned this from mom of course, I would be nowhere without my friends! Whenever I am feeling down or overwhelmed, a good girl's night fixes me right up! You obviously have a fabulous family, but you need to surround yourself with great friends too :) And lastly, go get your nails done! This for me is an easy pick me up. I love being pampered but it doesn't take too long so you don't feel like you're wasting a ton of time and then you can look down and see the pretty colors :) It is a cheap way to put a smile on your face! Love you and can't wait to see my little nieces! Hey, I'll take them for a little while the day after Thanksgiving and you can go do something :)
ReplyDeleteEven though I'm not a mom, I totally related to this post! It's so easy to get stuck in all the mundane details of every single day. The good thing is that you are amazing and I know you're going to figure out how you can get unstuck--and how to do that in the best way for you and your lovely family!
ReplyDeletetime to find a new mom club! i can't imagine what that's like. pretty much all my friends already have kids and they constantly tell me how everyone has some opinion on how kids should be raised. i'm not sure how i'm gonna deal with it all. i think we all tend to forget that we all are clueless when we do things for the first time like having kids and having the family dynamic change.. and watching them grow.. and it's all a learning process along the way. which means there should be even more grace.
ReplyDeleteusually i also now recognize that when i'm being judgey, it's because there's some insecurity of my own that i'm covering up. these know-it-all moms probably don't have it all together.